| I stumbled on this old thing (my xanga page) from a friend's facebook page.
It is nice to have a record (even if it is public) of my thoughts over the last five years. What a five years they have been. I went from being a senior in high school with no idea about the world around him to a 20-something college graduate with a job and a plan.
Maybe I will read over my old posts, but not right away. I learned something recently. We should never forget the past, but we need to refrain from dwelling there. Wish things were different? Wish you had a job doing X, were in better shape, were more outgoing, had accomplished Y by now? Get out there and do it. If it is something that requires certain experience/preparation, do that, or at least start. The difference between the past and the present is that we can change the latter. Nostalgia is nice until it keeps you from moving forward.
Remember that God will never give up on you, no matter how many times you give up on him.
You are not as clever as you think you are. This is always true.
Not being able to see your own flaws is, in itself, a flaw. When you think you, or something you did, are perfect, you should probably just start from the beginning.
I am officially too mature for xanga - maybe I will start a myspace page!
Peace <><
--Jason
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| musingmusingmusingjokemusingjokepeace<><
end.
--Jason
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| When I was a kid, going to bed at 11:30 was late. I mean freakishly late. Now I stay up until 3 a.m. on a regular basis. I guess I am an adult now?
The idiot upstairs loves his late night bongo sessions, and playing a few chords on the guitar over and over again. He is so artistic.
I have been on Xanga since, senior year of high school? That makes this almost 3 years old. Oh man, I missed Xanga's birthday again this year. I am a terrible father. But really, who ever thought this would last this long. Granted, I have made about 5 posts in the last year, but this thing used to be so cool. I remember checking all the time for the updates of people that got me hooked (Julie and Sean, I am looking at you...over the internet...even though your accounts probably don't even exist anymore).
You say things to yourself, like "I am never going to become a nerd who studies all the time" or "I am going to stay in touch with so-and-so and we are going to be friends despite moving away" or "I am never going to get a lower back tattoo of two clowns jousting on horseback." Then you wake up one day and you realize you have done all those things.
I feel like a jerk, as the people that once meant so much to me I contact on a nominal, convenient basis at best. Some people have departed from my life altogether, saying their lines in the one act they were allotted, and have now moved on.
I hope this entry wasn't too depressing. If it was, look at this picture, and try to be sad:
peace <><
--Jason
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| I want to pick a new major, but time is a factor.
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| Free time is a lot less free when you don't have a job and need money.
peace <><
--Jason
edit: Yet with even the prospect of a job I can see my free time start to die.
"When my free time's gone will you promise me this: that you will please bury me with it." -- Modest Mouse
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